Saturday, June 28, 2008
Blog #3: Moving ourselves into new contexts
At this juncture, we have covered material as it relates to our developing subjectivities in different spaces. 'Apparate' or secondspace yourself into a context that has yet to exist and consider how your subjectivity would be vulnerable to either stabilizing or destabilizing in this context. In brief, invent a context you've never been in, describe based on what you know about yourself, how you might respond, and describe the visible and invisible sociopolitical messages that the given space tries to inscribe onto you. You can use each others' contexts if you like em'. Go play!
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Well, if I had to pick a place that I’ve never been that would have an effect on me; I would have to use prisons. Now with my extensive knowledge of prisons from watching the sitcom Prison Break, I think I would be kind of destabilized. The way prisons are and the way they were, would be the largest influence on me. I can imagine going to Alcatraz, sitting on an old rickety boat, looking at your new home menacing off in the distance as the fog drifted it in and out. As you got to the prison the main gates would open with a creek. The inmates would all be calling you as you were lead down a long moldy hallway to your claustrophobic cell, praying all the way that you didn’t have a roommate. I don’t think I could stabilize in that kind of environment. Maybe my only place of refuge would be the cell that contained my life, entirely. I don’t think there would be many sociopolitical messages, other than the “wash your hands” sign in the bathroom. Now on the flip side, the prisons today, have many benefits. Most of these benefits would be sociopolitical messages. Televisions, game rooms, libraries, workout rooms, spotless cafeterias with choices of food, and even room/cell that make the average college dorm room look cheap. Besides the constant threat of bodily harm, I think it would be much easier to stabilize in modern prisons. The sociopolitical messages given to inmates would be great; at least I would think the government is looking out for my best interest. Then again on the same note it would make me sick to my stomach to think of how nice inmates have it. No wonder they can’t vote in most states, they would think everything is perfect.
Okay, so this is never going to happen, but it would be fun to think about it; my second space would be becoming a famous actress. For example, I live in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania and all of a sudden I am known by people all around the United States. That would be a destabilizing and stabilizing rollercoaster. I would be used to walking out in public, going about my own business and not being interrupted. If I were to change my way of life to becoming famous, all of this would change. As I sit and watch the celebrity gossip on television I wonder how these people handle the paparazzi and such. I feel that at first I would love my new environment, but it would get old. I would most likely destabilize in this kind of environment because it is very overbearing and it intrudes in peoples’ lives. I think the only way in order to really stabilize after appearing in this second space would be to take a break from it all and go to my hometown and such. Celebrities are known to having breakdowns and such and this is probably caused by their identity’s instability in their environment.
There would also be some sociopolitical messages that the given space would try to inscribe on me. For starters, I would have to watch everything that I say and wear. These could be some visible messages because there is always a lot of talk about what celebrities are doing right and doing wrong. One invisible sociopolitical message would probably be something like the religion that a lot of celebrities are partaking in now. It might not be well-known at first but I’m sure walking within “their” circle would have some sort of affect on me.
Based on my future as a special education teacher, my space is my own classroom. I have had much experience with children and adults with special needs; however I have never been fully in charge. I feel very anxious and excited when I think about my future school district and my own classroom that I will be placed in (hopefully in August). I believe I will feel destabilized throughout the interview process, and my first month within this new space. I worry that I will be faced with students with severe disabilities, and feel that I have “no clue what to do”. However, I think I will restabilize once my students and I become familiar with each other, environment and classroom routine. I think this is common for all college graduates to feel when first entering into their field. I believe sociopolitical messages I would come across in this future space would be created from parents, other teachers and my students. These people would have many expectations of me, my own teaching styles, behavior management, and the control over my classroom.
With following the world series and other sports, i think the one space that I will never be in would be that of a professional athlete. I played soccer my whole life so if there was ever a professional sport i would pursue, that would be it. From previous experience and watching the professionals play, You are constantly stabilizing and restabilizing in that space. When you first step on the field, depending on the atmosphere, anyone can be instantly destabilized. You make a good play or score a goal and your identity is immediately restabilized. Perhaps soon after that you make a poor play, you identity is then destabilized. Just withing the time frame of the game you can be stabilized and restabilized a countless number of times. Off the field can be a whole other story. In Europe they are treated as celebrities. Like movie stars here, rumors are started and other lies can surface. This, like in the game, can be a constant stabilize/restabilize of ones identity. It amazes me how come they always seem. I think it would take some getting use to to have that kind of spotlight on you.
If I were to pick a place that I have never been, it would be on a deserted island. I have seen the movies such as "Castaway" where Tom Hanks is stranded on an island and I think I would be destabilized like he started out. I can only imagine being on an island with no electricity or other people to interact with. This would definitely destabilize myself because I would be very lonely. I myself am a Boy Scout, so I think I would be able to find food and make a shelter easy. I think I would struggle on the aspect of being isolated. At times I like to be isolated from people to self reflect but I don't think I would do well isolated from people for long extended periods of time. I respond by building a shelter to protect myself from the elements as well as find food so I wouldn't starve. Once I became stabilized a little I would start to build a raft or try to find my way back to civilization. I think the only sociopolitical message I would used would be survival of the fittest. I would have to find my own food and protect myself or I would die.
Just like Jason, I have been following the MLB Playoffs as well as the beginning of the football/hockey seasons. I can imagine myself being a competitive professional athlete. With my background of 14 years of baseball experience, I can easily envision myself inside a professional baseball stadium. As I run out onto the field to assume my position, the crowd cheers for the hometeam and my identity is stabilized. Since I have no problem being "center stage", playing my position on the field as thousands of eyes watch my every move wouldn't bother me. As I look around the stadium, advertisements ranging from drink/food products and insurance companies to shoe companies and stadium vendors surround the stands. These advertisements offer identity artifacts to fans so that they can relate to the professional athletes on a material level.
Along with jason's second space, I would also choose the professional sports world. I have played baseball from the time that I could walk until my freshman year of college where I stopped playing due to injury. The "job" can be very frustrating due to all of the baggage that comes along with the perks of being a professional athlete.
The environment can be very destabilizing. When players go to other teams stadiums they are constantly harassed by the fans. They can even be destabilized in their own parks if their production is down from their normal performance. The life of an athlete has other negativities such as constant travel and time away from the family. But if I were to be a professional ball player, I would relish in the perks of celebrity life. This would be a stabilizing factor to be treated of higher status in society. I would definitely life up the high moments and attempt to stray from the negatives.
I find this to actually be an incredibly difficult situation to construe, because I am well aware of the inherant biases of how I believe I would react to this particular space. With that said, I will use the example of me graduating from IUP in May. After four long years, it's quite ironic that until now, I firmly believe I never previously managed to stabilize into my identity as a college student living in this town. As much fun as it was, I was not “myself” and fully admit that Indiana was my secondspace for 9 or so months out of each year, since August 2005. How many friends have shared stories with you about their “second life” at college, where they could be irresponsible and as long as they kept their grades up, their home life would never realize such deviant behavior was occurring? Well, I know this was me, and within the next 6 months, my life will probably be pulling a complete 180. After next summer, I will either be attending grad school or living at home for a year while working. I can actually start to feel such tension building up at the thought of such a matter, because I will be leaving behind what built and solidified my identity awareness for the past several years and enter a completely different environment. Yes, even home will have changed, because I will have brought something new back into the mix, and it is myself. Now, I must also think about how I might react to a new and unfamiliar college environment. Most of the graduate schools I am applying to are located within the city, and I am likely to be in a grad assistant position where I would receive a stipend for my work, now meaning it is my job, possibly even teaching or TA'ing a class. This is James Alunni entering the professional world, ladies and gentlemen, and I must admit I'm even more frightened than you probably are. After being a wannabe “city kid” for so long, I can imagine that it wouldn't take me very long to stabilize to such an area, although I imagine that it wouldn't be immediate. Although, one factor that may make it easier would be that I have many friends who have spread to such areas, especially along the east coast, and I would (at the very least) not be left with knowing absolutely no one in the city. Now that my next new life will be starting, I'm sure I will be heavily influenced by what I will term “the voices of the city.” After completing the Pegasus Wiki for our group, I reflect back upon Reed and I discussing the advertisements for all brands of consumer goods (cigs, condoms, beverages, which we were smothered by in Pittsburgh) as being examples of sociopolitical messages. These brands are what market such culture in every environment, and it is what actually becomes the people who live in it. All forms of technology have done this to us throughout our entire lives, and it is what makes several identities of different people, different spaces, and different objects- synonymous alongside one another.
Somewhere that I have never been…growing up, I always wanted to be a doctor. I watched the hit television series “Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman” every Saturday evening with my family, hoping that someday I would be just as cool as her. Dr. Michaela Quinn, who everyone referred to as “Dr. Mike,” was originally from Boston and moved to Colorado Springs, Colorado during the time of the Civil War. Being that she was a city doctor, not many took to liking her at first. She later fell in love with a Native American man, a widower, and they soon started their own family, also adopting other children. (I do not recall all the details, as to whose children were whose, but for the purpose of the blog, I think that is enough information.)
However, I fell in love with the series. I would have to say it was definitely a second space for me. Not only did I love the idea of being a doctor, but also I loved hearing stories about the old West. My grandfather told me stories of wanting to be a cowboy, and I thought those were the greatest stories ever told. Looking back, had I even been placed in that type of situation, I would surely be destabilized.
For instance, I’ve learned about myself that make up is a religion, and I have to have the correct type and amount of hair product. These types of things are not necessarily available during that time period to residents of the Plains areas. As much as I would have loved living then, I would not have survived.
As far as being a doctor, well, that story is quite the same. Growing up, Dr. Mike was my idol: I wanted to be just like her. I loved watching doctor shows, or anything that involved the medical field. I know now, however many years later, that I would certainly be destabilized in the medical field. First, I procrastinate on work and studying. Having medical majors as friends, I know that that would never work for me. I also have had my share of visits to the doctor’s office as well as the emergency room. I could not handle that type of stress: there would be no way to restabilize after that.
Putting the two aspects of my second space together, well that would most definitely lead to a type of permanent destabilization, if a thing even exists. I think as children, our fantasies and dreams are our second spaces that we someday want to enter. It is only later on in life, I feel, that we realize whether or not that is our calling.
I think I would have to tag along with Kris, and agree that my second space would also be prison. Prison is probably the last place I would ever want to be, and I doubt that I would ever be able to stabilize my self in the kind of environment. I’ve watched a few television shows where the host interviews inmates from all over the country to talk about their life in prison. The one common element that the inmates constantly seem to talk about is the constant state of looking over your shoulder. There is always the constant threat of being a target to an attack, and you have to be ready for that at any minute. I think being in the constant mental state of a “defensive mode” would leave me to be constantly destabilized. The other factor that would leave me to be constantly destabilized would be the fact that I would never be in control of myself. I would always have to be on the prisons schedule. I would never be able to make my own schedule, or do anything on my own with out having someone watching over me, or giving me permission. I think the only sociopolitical messages that I would be receiving would be the constant reminder that I was imprison by the plain colored wall, small jail cells, and the infamous prison bars. I would be completely shut off from the rest of the world, leaving me blind to what was going on outside of those worlds.
Building on some previous ideas, I would like to put myself in a secondspace in which I'm famous. I've often thought about being a famous musician, not necessarily in a rock band; but regardless, still highly recognizable. This could be very stabilizing to my identity since music is such a key factor in my life and I really enjoy performing for others. However, I could see myself easily becoming destabilized because of the constant stress of travel and recording and promotional appearances that would need to occur. Having too much of a schedule that would not necessarily be my own would definitely pull me out of my comfort zone.
My identity would also destabilize knowing that I could actually become a sociopolitical message. I would have to be careful of how I present myself in public because any action or statement I make could be used to influence others for both good and bad. The only way that could stabilize my identity is if I could use my fame for the benefit of others through actions and what I may say.
There is one place I've never been and would be afraid to be there right now... the RED CARPET. I always hear about "the red carpet" on television. I don't think a day goes by when I don't hear those three words mentioned on the TV. It would be a wonderful time if I thought I belonged on the red carpet but I don't. You need to be famous to be on it but I'm not saying I would never want to be famous. I like what I do now but if it ever happened I wouldn't let the opportunity pass by. I would have a difficult time fitting in at first because I don't even LOOK like I could belong on the red carpet. You need to look perfect to be on the red carpet and if you're not, the entire world will know about it. At first on the red carpet I would probably feel my identity destabilized but after about 10 times appearing on it, I'd start to feel more like I deserved to walk on it. Then if I did something to make myself look bad, my identity would destabilize again. Messages being sent from the red carpet are, you HAVE to look your best or it will impact your career. You CANNOT do anything stupid or say anything stupid or that will also impact you. Basically, if you aren't perfect, you will get made fun of.
If I were to pick something that i would never be it would be a Politician of some kind. Politicians have so much pressure from the public on issues relating to government and how the country or states are run. I believe in this situation I could be vulnerable to many things. If I did something wrong, misplaced money, voted wrong; the press and public would highly criticize me. This would put an abundance of pressure on me and destabilize me every time. I don't think in one instance of being a politician i would be stabilized. They also get in front of large crowds, which would be very nerve racking. As far as sociopolitical messages, the job is based on them. Every single day politicians are faced by the public's sociopolitical messages and being made to choose out of them. It's hard to fathom how exactly you would feel with the pressure and expectation to do the right thing in every situation.
I would have to say being the next Chad Hurley. Him graduating from IUP with a degree in Studio art and a concentration in Graphic Design (the same as me) is just amazing. The fact that he graduated and decided one day to create this website called You Tube and become a millionaire is just ridiculous. If i ever became as famous and popular as he is now i believe my identity would destabilize at first because i would not know what to do with all the popularity and money that i would have circulating around me. It would probably take weeks or even months for it to re stabilize once the media calms down and i get use to the new position that i am at. some sociopolitical messages that i would be faced with is the fact that i have millions of people that are counting on me to keep up with this popular website and not have it go down once it got huge.
Whenver I am exposed to historical information (whether it be through a text book, a movie, other people, etc) I always try to think about what it would be like to be my age now, at whichever historical time period that I'm being exposed to. For example, whenever I learned about the Holocaust for the first time in middle school, I wondered what it would be like to be a middle schooler living through this time period. How would my life be different? How would it be the same? Knowing who I am today makes it difficult to put myself into a historical moment, but it's still something interesting to think about since it's impossible to go back into time. Society is always growing and expanding, which obviously affects the people who lived in specific time periods. In turn, sociopolitical messages change over time because of the ever-changing society. This is what makes it interesting - to think about youself now in comparison to another time period - would you be stabilized or destabilized? How would you restabilize? Would you be remotely similar to who you are today? It's all a question of theory - are you who you are due to socialization?
I would have to say that my second space would be a contestant on reality tv. I always watch reality tv along with even scheduling my day around it so I can watch it.
I know that my identity would always be stabilizing / destabilizing. It would stabalize when I could become famliar with my surroundings. However, it would be destablilizing in the sense I would have to adjust to all the people there. They will constantly be coming and going. Also, it would affect me if I were to be booted off. It can be so hard when you have become attached to something you want so badly.
I would have to watch how I act and portray myself. I wouldn't want my family and friends to think differently of me between real life and tv life.
Since I will be graduating next semester, I think my first job would make me become destabilized. Having a job means that you will be meeting new people, living in a new place, and actually having a steady income. All of these items could pose a problem since they are new and not part of my normal identity. Looking at the money aspect could pose the biggest difference. As of right now I am comfortable in my surroundings, but actually being able to buy new and nicer things would make me feel destabilized. Having a new car and furniture are some new sociopolitical messages that could contribute to my future space. After awhile I think that the new things would become familiar to me and eventually make me feel stabilized.
I will focus my secondspace in reference to the techno and house cultures reading. A few years ago, I met a guy who was into the techno scene. He was a self proclaimed "DJ" who appeared in Baltimore area rave's. After reading the article and listening to his perception of raves, I feel my identity would be destabilized in this environment. I'm not really a fan of techno music in the first place and the description of drug use he described would make me uncomfortable. I watched him dance with glow sticks to the different beats of the music. I'm not a big dancer either so this scene doesn't appeal to me. The visible messages at a rave are the freedom of expression through dance and music. I can appreciate this aspect of the techno culture. Invisible messages are the prescence of drugs and drug use. Almost anyone I have ever talked to about raves comments on taking ectsacy. I would not cave in to the peer pressure in order to have a good time. If I were to visit this space I would stand back and watch the actions of everyone to try and grasp a better concept of the rave scene.
Since I am in the Sports group, one context ive never been in would be that of a professional athlete. I watch enough sports to know how the athletes perform on the field, but not how they handle everyday life or what goes on in their heads during and not during games. But knowing my personality and playing sports all my life I am no stranger to competition and think I would do well as an athlete. If I had the physical talent to play I think my identity would be stabilized as an athlete. Even though there are many pressures to perform well not only in the game, but outside of the game I still think I could do alright. Now when it comes down to those pressure situations I might feel a little overwhelmed and have my identity destabilize and I dont know if I could hand the pressure. Also there is a lot of pressure on today's athletes to stay out of trouble and not have too much fun. That is what I think would be most difficult about being a pro athlete. But id like to try it if i ever got the chance since it is one space I have never been in but would like to try.
I have to place myself in graduate school. As a performing art major (yes, this keeps coming back to me) to apply to grad school is more than just submitting an application (with those god-awful fees) and maybe taking a GRE or some other kind of test. I'm required to actually fly to whatever school i'm applying to, meet my professor who would become my advisor and primary teacher, audition for members of the department faculty. So, instead of being a number on a piece of paper that says "ACCEPTED", i am accepted based not on grades, but on my abilities as a musician and on my personal presentation and development of a rapport while i'm at the school.
This is the worst part because it is the most destabilizing. The judgements that the faculty make on my character as well as my audition performance determine my acceptance into a program, but more importantly whether or not i get any financial aid. For anyone else this doesn't matter, because if you have good grades you probably will get some money. If they don't like my TIE, i may not get money because any subconscious impact could sway thier decision on me.
So i'll fly to a couple of schools (already, i'm destabilized because of the price of airfare--especially because i'm trying to get financial aid) and meet professors. This is destabilizing because everything i do and say makes a difference. When i'm in AZ, i'll have to rent a car and drive from ASU to U of AZ. I'll be alone driving a rented car on the other side of the country. This will happen in CO as well. I think you're beginning to see my trepidations.
At each of these schools, they'll probably pick a grad or undergrad student to "escort me around" and show me the campus. Great, just what i need, another strange person to feel destabilized around.
Here is the key, however. Other than when i get back on the plane and return to PA, i will be restabilized when i am playing my bassoon. Because even though it's an audition and my performance is supposed to be fantastic, it's something i do for hours every day, and it represents who i am. I will be stabilized because i know that i can only perform to the best of my ability, and will be prepared to do as such. When i'm playing, the only thing that matters is the music. There is no room to be destabilized by thoughts of anything else.
The second space I will consider is that of someone living below the poverty line in America. During an alternative spring break trip to eastern Kentucky, I witnessed people living a lifestyle I was not aware still existed in this country. Those living in impoverished areas in the US live a lifestyle much different than that which I expected before submersing myself in it. Though my family is not wealthy, I have always enjoyed the reasonable financial security provided by my parents. If I were thrust into a situation where I did not have running water or a physically sound structure to live in, my identity would certainly be destabilized. People living in the area I visited were often out of work, looking for odd jobs to provide for their families. The owner of the home I spent a week working on was out herding cattle one morning while we were at his home. After returning, he looked at our group as if ashamed and said: "I have to make a little bit of money." I am sure saying that to a large group of privileged college students was enough to destabilize his identity, also.
The constant tribulations associated with life in poverty would undoubtedly destabilize my identity; which would be reinforced by the sociopolitical messages present in our culture. People judge success by wealth and power; which in some cases are the fruits of an individual's work ethic or intellect. However, some people are born into situations which put a life of prosperity far out of reach. US culture puts possessions and status at the top of the ladder of success. It has been forced on most that failure to achieve these goals means failure as a person. Watching television, showing the products, or careers I “must” have, (or even more so, that my children “must” have) would be a terribly destabilizing experience. From my perspective, asking for help, especially from strangers, charities, or government welfare programs, would have a similar effect. I have led a lifestyle which allows me to have all of my needs and most of my wants fulfilled: leading to almost constant stability.
Perhaps the most encouraging thing I witnessed while in Kentucky was the importance of family. I am confident that I would be able to feel stable (or less destabilized) in almost any situation if I was blessed enough to have family with me.
I would love to put myself in the space as a business professional. I am currently a Business Education major, but feel you will find me in the classroom not the boardroom. Business can place many strains on a person; several of those strains pertain to business ethics. I am prepared to teach other about ethics, but am I ready to stand up in those ethical situations. Having the responsibility of keeping a corporation ethically correct is one that could not be taken lightly. The sociopolitical messages that may impact responses could include, pressure from CEOs, political messages, news stations, all can press business matter or spin them in different directions. It would be up to be to be sure I maintained my value systems and did what I believed was right for the company, no matter how the public may respond. The pressure to keep my job could influence my decisions, but I would have to trust the company hired me because they believe I would do the job well. I would hope I would stick to my guns! I am a fairly strong willed person and believe that I would be able to made good judgments based on my morals.
I would also have to agree that my second space would be prison. Prison is a place many of us never want to see, and I am one of them. I would hate living in jail. I believe that my identity would never be stabilized because as Matt said, you are always having to look over your shoulder. I have never watched Prison Break, but I do have an idea of what prison would be like. I would be destabilized from the moment they took my freedom away, to having to change and shower in front of guards on a daily basis. I love my freedom and being able to go and do whatever I want whenever. The only way I think I could stabilize while being in prison is if I was to be sentenced to life. After the first 10 years, you will have seniority over most, and will get some respect. However, just the whole idea of being stuck in a cell that is smaller then Scranton’s dorms would make me go crazy. Some sociopolitical messages that would be present while in prison would have to be the dreary look of the cells, bars on the windows and everywhere else, guard’s uniforms, jumpsuits, and hand cuffs for when escorted to a different part of the prison.
If I were to choose a place that I had never been and that would have a profound effect on my life I would have to say being a criminal. Based on what I know about myself I do not believe that I would be a very good criminal. The life of always running from any sign of law enforcement would be tiring and I think I would eventually grow tired of it. In addition the fear of being locked away in a prison cell for years upon years may cause me to do extraordinary things that I may regret later after they happened. The fact that criminals prey on other people in order to support themselves would weigh heavily on my conscience also. The thought that I may have ruined someone’s life just for my own wants and needs would be devastating to me. Although there are many more negative aspects of a life of crime I think is important to also include a few positives that I think are possible. I think the biggest positive would be the freedom of not having a boss and to basically work when you want to or needed to. Also not being tied down by the rules of society would also be a freedom that most of us do not have in our lives. Criminals do not think of the laws and rules as pertaining to them. They live outside the law, that is, until they are apprehended by those who enforce those laws.
After reading megs comment. I would defiantly have to live during the time of the holocaust. I to always wondered what it would be like living like Ann Frank did in a secret room for so long. Which in a way was a prison just like the concentration camps of coarse it was not as harsh as a concentration camp. Knowing myself I would get very upset because I would need to get out I would probably go crazy hiding in fear from the army every day and night. wondering if they were going to find me. And all of this happened because of my religion which I am christian really christian but it's sad to think that this happened. I know messages i would see like the star of david being sewn onto my jacket to tell everyone i was different from them. I went to the speech from a holocaust survivor last semester and what he went threw was horrible and it's hard to think of ever going threw anything like that.
I like this question, because this morning an opportunity to move to Hawaii came up. I have never been to Hawaii, but I am sure it is nice. I think there would be a cultural difference that I would have to deal with. Even though Hawaii is part of the United States, the lifestlye of an Islander would be different. There would be many little things that would change. The price of commodities (milk, gas, etc.) are higher in the middle of the Pacific. On the East Coast, there are more Europeans. On the West Coast, there are more Asians. Those alone are varying demographics. I am also used to snow and cold weather. In Hawaii I would deal with warmer temperatures and the sun shining. I think that I would be able to fit in the lifestyle of Hawaii. I have a laid back personality. I wouldn't mind trying new activities, such as surfing, and I like trying out new languages. Aloha! Of course all these are sterotypical Hawaii. If I actually get the opportunity to move to Hawaii, I would want to submerge myself into the local culture and find out what sort of aspects create their culture. I am interested.
A context that I have had some interest in but have a hard time imagining myself in would be the military. That has always been an option I considered when planning my adult life and carreer. I thought I might join the rotc in college then join the Army after I graduate to pay for graduate school. I had wanted to go to physical therapy school but the thought of student loans piling up on me and tying me down to an office for the next 30 was awful.
My older brother joined the Marines straight out of high school but then took a dishonorable discharge two years later because of the craziness of a peacetime marine corps. If I was to join the Army I think I would do very well in boot camp based purely on my physical strength and endurance. The psycological aspect of being a soldier would be the hardest part for me. With the current situation in Iraq and Afganistan I would feel completely destabilized walking through a neighborhood with suspected Al-quaida hiding. I would see every car stopping at a roadblock as a potential bomb. The only stabilizing factors in my life would be the training I received, the men and women fighting beside me, and my friends and family thousands of miles away
If I could choose any second space that I have never experiences would be Hollywood as an actress. Although I have acted my entire life, I feel that becoming a worldwide celebrity would be a whole different world for me. I think at first my identity would become destabilized just because I have never experienced that world, but as soon as I was used to everything, (the limelight, etc.) my identity would restabilize because I know it is something I would love and probably be good at. Also, looking at Hollywood from an outside perspective, I would try to stay away from the bad things that bring people down. I would take full advantage of the space I was given because for now, it is only a dream that I could only hope would someday become a reality.
Money not being an issue, I would like to put myself in the position of a missionary, having the opportunity to spend the majority of my time in other countries not as fortunate as ours. I would love to have the opportunity to spread the word of God and my belief in the Christian faith to those may not ever have that opportunity. In addition to spreading the Christian faith, while I would be traveling around the world, I would also be helping in any way possible to improve their living standards. Whether it would be building schools or bringing medical aid to a place that, prior, had no way of finding medical help. At the very bottom of everything, I believe that most people would see this as "good thing" to do. Whether you believe in Christianity or not, helping others in their own respective "time of need" would be likely considered a positive effort. Due to many constraints, I would not have that opportunity currently so I do try to serve those around me the best I can in my current circumstances. I believe that, though I would love to have this be apart of my life, it would be extremely dangerous and unstable which would provide many deterrants and stumbling blocks throughout my journey. This would effect both me and my family. Despite the great effect it would have on my family, I believe that the sacrifice would be respected.
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